I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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