he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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