So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Randomize
