he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
