this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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