Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
