wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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