yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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