piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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