so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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