other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
No I am not eating basil off your cock
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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