You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Randomize
