guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
