You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
