We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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