farters have to be the big spoon...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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