he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
