He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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