We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize