I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
