really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize