I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
