New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
