In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize