goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize