I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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