Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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