Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
