i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Randomize
