I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
