my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
