considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
