I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
