Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
