if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
