Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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