is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
