I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My life is pants optional.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize