Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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