brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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