Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
