I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
