PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize