I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
