Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
