Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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