Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
