i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize