have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
