It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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