It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize