i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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