I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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