wat bout pragnant strippers??
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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