I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
