Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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