If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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