I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize