so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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